The Flu...

Do I really need to say more? Probably not, but I will...

So, we finally got to take that "family vacation" we have been longing for. Unfortunately, it was entirely forced. One by one...like domino's...we fell.

First, Cole started off with what appeared to be a sinus infection, mild fever and extreme whininess. Katie came home the next day from school and went straight to bed, sick as a dog. Starting Monday morning, I placed over 90 calls (NO, I am not even kidding) to the pediatrician's office before I got to speak to a live human being and was able to get an appointment for Wednesday.

The doctor didn't even test them, pronounced that they didn't have the flu, but a "flu-like" virus. OH, ok....good. She suggested I give them thera-flu. Have you ever tasted that stuff? In comparison, Nyquil tastes like water. I think what theraflu has going for it...is that it burns all of the germs out of your insides. Much like...say....vodka or crown royal would. VILE VILE stuff.

That same day, Kayla comes home and goes straight to bed. It must be pretty fun in high school, because even though she was told NOT to go to school, she got up anyway and got on the bus before any of the rest of us were up. The school called at 7:53 to please for the love of God and all that is Holy...come get her, from the quarantined area in which she was placed. We were given a stern note from the nurse that suggested (in a not so nice tone) that our dumb@sses might need to take her to the doctor and to NOT bring her back anytime soon.

Meanwhile, what started out as a mild backache, joint achiness, soreness in both Lloyd and I on that Monday had progressed to all-out...we feel like HELL. Throats burning, congestion, coughing, fever...Although we tried, it was hard to be nice to each other, under the circumstances.

We could not get Kayla into the clinic on Thursday, and on Friday, the dr. on call tested her. Lloyd said he broke out into a cold sweat when the she came back into the room wearing a SARS mask and gloves that went up to her elbows and proclaimed that Kayla did have swine flu AND...due to all of the symptoms that we all had...we all had it too. YAY. We're statistics.

Of course, as the rest of us are progressively getting worse, Cole has rebounded, and was steadily kicking our butts. You know you are sick when you are laying on the couch with a kleenex wadded up into each of your nostrils and your child is hitting you repeatedly on the head with mallet from his Whack-A-Mole game, and you just don't even care or try to take it away from him. We watched the movie Wild Hogs approximately 75 times that week. Yeah, I know...not exactly appropriate for a 3 year old, but give me a break. It kept him quiet, somewhat, and YOU try to take care of a rambunctious 3 year old when you have the swine flu. Let me know how that works out for ya.

Well meaning friends and family offered to bring us food...and leave it at the end of our driveway. HA. Like we would have even had the energy to schlep all the way out there to get it! We did good just going from the bed, to the couch and vice versa. Although we did end up getting the world's best smoked butt out of the deal, so it did help to take the sting out of being stuck at home with the flu!...Thanks M&M. :)

My poor husband, normally as hot natured as they come...wore his fleece winter jammies and three blankets 99% of the time. Meanwhile, I...normally very cold natured, and dressed for a fire and any given time...had taken to wearing pasties and the skimpiest of shorts. Ok...I didn't wear pasties, but I was sweating 85% of the time.

Finally, by Monday, a week later...we were all better. A WHOLE fun-filled, snot-ridden, phlegm-having, coughing, sneezing, aching, stuffy-nose, fever, cannot rest...sort of vacation.

On the plus side...we don't need to get the swine-flu shot. I am sure when they make it mandatory, we will be forced to get one anyway.

I hate to say it, but I have never seen anything quite as contagious as this, except maybe the chicken pox. I mean, I was literally bathing in germ-x every day, I had washed my hands so many times a day my cuticles had started to rip, and I STILL got it. My house had been lysoled, cloroxed, 409'd...and we ALL still got it.

I really hope that you all fare better than we did.