I didn't sleep well that night after that conversation. I have never seen a spider with an egg sac on its butt...and I hope and pray that as long as I live...I never do. Because I have just typed these words, I will probably see one tomorrow, with my luck.
Last week, while taking a shower, having just shampooed my hair, I felt something run across my feet. (Oh God, please don't let it be a spider) I look down and it was a prehistoric sized wood roach. Like Madagascar hissing sized cockroach. I screamed like I was being killed, nearly busted the shower door down trying to get out. Although naked, with shampoo running down my back, I ran to my closet, grabbed some ugly flip-flops, went back and beat the hell out of it. I do not fear roaches the same way I do spiders. To my knowledge, roaches do not bite, although they are TRULY disgustingly nasty. Especially when they are half the width of my foot.
[woodroach...nasty, huh? crawled across my FOOT!]
Ahhhh...I love living in the south.
Anyway, we have had TONS of rain these last few weeks. This seems to be driving the outdoor bugs, inside. This is just not sitting well with me at all. I already don't sleep much...and the thought of having these insects in the house, potentially crawling on me while I sleep, dropping down from the ceiling and landing on my face is the stuff nightmares are made of. Is it bad to mix a bottle of wine and a couple of Advil PM? I think not. At least if something did land on me at night, I might not care as much.
I have seen several good sized spiders in the house lately, and after all we went through last year eradicating them, I just don't know if I have it in me again to launch that level of warfare. Although my husband is very manly, he is more scared of spiders than I am. Granted, I do not have a large hole in my leg from being bitten by a Brown Recluse, I still think as the man of the house, he should be doing more to remove these pests. He likes to play the ol' "I don't see them, and I also don't hear my wife's terrified screams when she sees them" game. I see some passive-aggressiveness in our future.
Well, after what I went through the other morning, he is going to have to "man up" and start doing something about the problem. I am not even kidding. He needs to call up his sister-in-law once removed, get the heavy duty commercial grade insecticide, bring out the hazmat suit, slap on the air tank and start doing some killin'!
Two mornings ago, I was getting ready for work. I had just finished cattle-prodding the kids to finish their breakfast. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a spider making its way towards me in the kitchen. Brazen little thing. Since I was wearing heavy tennis shoes, and my husband had already left for work, and he hates when I call him for what he considers trivial problems, I decided to handle it myself.
I went over and stepped on the spider...
...HUNDREDS, maybe thousands of little spiders fanned out from the carcass! I went absolutely BERSERK. Screaming, hollering, yelling, a whole lot more screaming, stomping, doing the Mexican hat dance on them trying to kill them all. Katie and Cole came running...I am sure they thought that I had finally gone certifiably insane. To a degree...I had.
I won't be the same after witnessing that. Obviously, I didn't see it coming. I figured if babies were involved...there would be an egg sac or something stuck to the butt. But noooooooooooooo....apparently, they can carry them on their back! WHAT THE HELL??? Since when did they start doing that???
[this looks exactly like the 'possum-like spider I stepped on...GROSS!!!]
Again...4,000 hours of Animal Planet watching...and I am unprepared. I see no point in watching the stupid channel anymore if I am not learning the educational things I need to know. WHO GIVES a DAYUM about lions ripping apart a stupid caribou, or elk or whatever those fast running horned things are called! I don't have lions and caribou's running amok in my kitchen! They need to dedicate an entire show to pest removal and killin'. I am telling you...there is a market.
You know, I spent the majority of my life up north. Never...ever...ever...ever.....(one more time)...EVER...did I see anything like that, anywhere I lived. If a yankee stepped on a spider like that up there, they would sell their house...and move. That very day. No questions asked. See ya...ba-bye.
Down here....yeah, it sucks, and when it happens (especially) to someone else, it's sorta funny...and gross at the same time. But, no big deal, really...happens all the time. Sorry...I'm calling BS on that! It is the grossest.thing.ever.
ever.
By the way...I know of a nice 4 bedroom split that will be going on the market soon. (small spider problem).
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