You're gonna need a hairnet...

I went a whole year without blogging...probably a good thing, as I didn't have anything nice to say. And as your mom has always said, "if you can't say anything nice...don't say anything at all". Wait, maybe that was Thumper from Bambi, I can't remember anymore...as I am getting *old*.

A good friend of mine was driving her daughter to school the other day and noticed that her daughter was wearing a miniskirt. She then proceeds to tell her daughter that she thought it was too short and her daughter replied with the infamous eye-roll, please just die look. So then she says..."well, if that skirt gets any shorter...you're gonna need a hairnet."


I was just taking a sip of my coffee when she whipped that last line out, and actually spewed. Something I haven't done in YEARS. The visual was just too much for my mind to handle because I know her daughter and instantly, I pictured that hairnet and then tried to take it back. Unfortunately, you can't "unknow", once you already know.

I prefer to think of people in their more genteel forms. IE...not farting, burping, vurping, scratching, picking, and now I have to add a whole new category...also not wearing a hairnet(in the immortal words of Sharon Stone)"down there".

And it is so funny that I want to think of people this way, because my reality is very far removed from that. For instance...let's examine my husband. For the record, I adore him, but at times, he is only once removed from Grok. He is a consumate picker, farter, belcher and scratcher. He can rearrange his privates seven ways to Sunday until he is happy with whatever position they have been placed. Not having a penis, myself, I probably will never understand the need to rearrange body parts (particularly private ones) in which other people might notice. At no time will you ever see me reach into my bra, and sling around one of the girls into a "better position". Not happening. I don't care if they look deformed with one hanging down to my knees and the other up by my neck. Again...Not happening.

Of course, there is the argument that boobs are contained in a bra, and a mans frank and beans are contained in merely underwear, and therefore more subject to movement. It sounds to me like the nut-bra would be a pretty viable option! haha...otherwise, I guess men could just wear a hairnet. ;)