Women and guns….A good mix? The jury is still out on this one, at least in my case. My husband is trying to talk me into getting one of those "girly" handguns. I am not entirely sure what that means (ie..I haven't googled it). I assume that it is one of the smaller varieties, with smaller bullets, and not "girly" in the sense that it comes in colors (which would actually be kind of cool if you could match it to your purse, if any GLOCK makers are reading, hint hint).
So, what's the point in having a little gun with itty bitty bullets?? I mean, you get into a situation where you have to shoot someone, all you are going to do is piss them off, even if you do hit them. And let's say you actually DO hit them, you better make it a good shot and then pump a few more into them for good measure. (Mrs. Damyankee...did you need to shoot the perpetrator 72 times? Yes...yes, I did. I had a girly gun.) The laws in Mississippi are quite liberal when it comes to that sort of thing. If your person or personal property (home or vehicle) are threatened, basically you can just go ahead blow the persons head off with nary a slap on the wrist.
It's not like the old days where the "alleged perpetrator" had to enter your house first and THEN you could shoot them. Now, if you were elderly, you could just shoot them on the porch or in your yard and then just drag them in to make it look like a forced entry. The police usually overlooked the bloody drag marks over the threshold in deference to your age. Just one of the perks of getting old, I guess.
I know a lot of women down here that carry guns. You might want to think twice about harassing some of these delicate looking southern belles. They will blow your junk off!
I, personally, have not ever fired a gun, unless you want to count the BB gun I got for my 8th, maybe 9th Christmas. I had it for all of three minutes. Long enough to put some BB's in there, go out in my grandma's front yard and accidentally shoot my dad in the @ss. Now, in my defense…it hit a rock FIRST and THEN launched towards his butt. Of course, those are just minor details; the fact remains the same that the gun was snatched up, never to be seen again.
[Red Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot Range Model air rifle with a compass in the stock and a thing which tells time]
Honestly, I can't imagine carrying around a gun. While my purse is certainly big enough, I have a habit of not being able to find things when I need them, because I don't put them back in the right spot. I am moderately ashamed to admit that I have laid more than one unused tampon or other feminine product down on the McDonalds counter trying to look for some additional cash or something. This REALLY freaks out those teenage guys working the register. You can always tell who doesn't have a sister, lol. "UM M'AM…um…um….um…you can't put that on the counter". Well, it's not USED Opie, so take it down a notch.
And seeing as how I can't find my debit card when I need it 99% of the time, I don't need to be in the middle of being assaulted and trying to look for some tinyassed little gun in the middle of 157 unrecorded debit receipts, 1 thing of chapstick, a calculator that only works ½ the time, 17 various pens, a crayon from a restaurant, one of Cole's paci's, my wallet that won't close anymore because there is too much stuff in it, the checkbook register that fell out of the checkbook, the checkbook, gum that is no longer in the wrapper and now has hair on it, my keys, OH LOOK MY DEBIT CARD, a plastic spork, Kleenex that may or may not have been used, some gooey substance in the corner that I have been meaning to get out, (but am still holding out hope will just go away on it's own), one child's glove, hairbands, paperclips, one wayward Advil caplet, and the missing Colonel Mustard piece from the game CLUE.
I just don't see the "alleged perpetrator" being patient while I waded through all that crap to find a little girly gun in which I plan to use to cause him great bodily harm.
So, if I do get one…it's just going to have to be a .44 Magnum. Something that you can find quite easily amongst all that junk (and if it coordinated with the purse, EVEN BETTER!). This here's a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and it can blow your head clean off.
Now, you must ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well do you, punk?
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