Monday, April 20, 2009

What's the worst trouble you got into as a kid?


I was thinking about this a lot last night, things I had been punished for as a kid. One of my brothers tended to get into more trouble than the other, but it could be that one was just better at hiding whatever he was doing.


My oldest daughter (Frau Hitlerbrow - 12.5) came home from school yesterday wearing a pair of shorts she had been the previous day told she could NOT WEAR to school. Ever Ever Ever. We were pretty clear on the whole matter. So, what does she do? She sneaks them in her bookbag and wears them anyway. When she was busted on it, due to my husband picking her up a little earlier, she went into the whole, "I forgooooooot" spiel. Almost a Bill Clinton-ish lack of recall, she has. Also, she had forgotten her homeworks logs and reading logs several days that week. She conned my husband into signing a note the first time saying that she had completed her homework, but that through some great misfortune (and surely due to someone else entirely) her homework log was misplaced on, or around her desk, prior to her leaving the school that day.

The next day when she forgot it again, we said "too bad, so sad, hate it for you". She whined a little, "but they will take time off my recess". Lather, rinse, repeat. Hate it for you. So, the NEXT day, she sneaks in the shorts, lies about it...by saying that "she forgot".

Well, my husband was really mad, and when I found out...so was I, because she can ruin a nice new set of clothes quicker than you can say "spit". The question becomes...what is the right punishment? I mean, we take things away, but the girls each have so much crap, they are sort of blasé about the whole thing. OH, no tv? Well, we still can play the DS. No DS? well, we can still play with the gameboy. No gameboy?, well...we can still do our "homework" on the computer. You get the picture.

Growing up, I had some type of portable radio/casette player thing until I was 13, which was when I got a very small 13" black and white tv that had large rabbit ears and some tinfoil AND a bent coat hanger sticking out the window so I could get UHF reception, which added another two channels to the 4 that I already had. (woohoo!) The remote consisted of, "put it on the channel you planned on watching all night, OR get up, walk across the room and turn the knob". I loved that tv. So, when I got into trouble, my tv was taken away...or my radio player, and in either case, I was going to do what I needed to do to get them back.

So, my husband was leaving for work and I was going to be stuck with the raw end of the deal as far as I was concerned: how to deal with her. I decided that I wasn't going to take anything away...or ground her. I was going to make her work, something that she truly hates to do.

She was going to scrub the grout in her and her sisters bathroom. She hadn't ever done this before, so I had to go through the instructions on how to properly clean grout with a scrub brush, (wax on, wax off danielson). Then she had to mop the floor with lysol, followed by a clean water mop. And then clean the countertops, cabinet fronts, and finally the faucets with a toothbrush, polishing them to a shine. All in all, it took two hours...a few tears, and she was exhausted and ready to go to bed when she was done. I told her that if she "forgot" anything next week...that she would be doing it again, only with a much smaller brush.

I can't wait to see how my experiment turns out. Will THIS get her attention? God knows...everything else we have tried sure hasn't.

Which is what got me to thinking, what was (one) of the worst things I had done and gotten punished for? Well, I remember being young, maybe 7 or 8 and I had to use the bathroom. BAD. Both of our bathrooms were in use, so I went outside and surveyed the landscape. I spied my dads shed, which was right next to the carport. In the shed, was a large cinderblock with holes in it. Perfect..for my 7 year old butt. So, I pooped in his shed, and then closed the door and went on about my day, never thinking another thing of it. Several weeks later, he went into the shed to get a rake or something...and saw a perfectly formed human turd in the middle of his cinderblock, and I would imagine that the smell of it being enclosed in the shed for several weeks wasn't very pleasant. I remember I was playing outside and heard him start screaming at the top of his lungs (to where EVERY neighbor kid could hear), "WHO CRAPPED in MY SHED????!!!!!!!!".

I do not have a pokerface. I cannot lie and get away with it. Ever. My eyes bugged out when he was yelling and I thought about making a run for it, and he knew very clearly who that turd belonged to. He jerked me up and started beating on my butt right there in the yard and all the way into the house; yelling, "YOU DON'T CRAP IN MY SHED!!" over and over again. My dad never spanked me much...a few times really, and that was one of them. I learned my lesson and never ever tried it again. Lol...instead...I went in the yard out behind the tree, where I could blame it on the dog. (I'm kidding!).

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