How does a Southerner get back at a yankee?

SO...how does a southerner get back at a yankee? A damn yankee at that? Simple...feed them okra. Okra, to my knowledge, is not native to yankee states like Illinois, for good reason...it tastes like smelly @ss. Anyway, a few summers back we were invited over to our friends houses, Don and Lisa. And let me tell you...did they put out a spread. I have never ever ever seen so much food, with the exception of the family reunions I used to go to when I was little, and I think that everyone had to bring something. Anyway, the food was GOOD...really really good. Southerners know how to put on a spread. So, there we were, putting food on our plates and I came to a pot that not only smelled like nasty feet, but had little green eye-ball looking things rolling around in it. Lisa said, "Oh, you have to try some".


[Boiled nastiness with maybe some beaks and claws]


UM...well....UM...yeah, ok...since you are standing there and all, I will go ahead and help my self to as little as possible to seem polite. Had she not been there, I would have done the sniff test, and passed by it like I didn't even see it. So, we all sit down at their very large dining table. I really have no idea how many people were there, but the table seemed crowded.

I ate the food I recognized right off the bat, and was "saving" my green eye balls for last. Apparently, Don, Lisa and Company were waiting for this dumb yankee to try some. (it's showtime) I place a couple of eyeballs on my fork...(no easy feat as they are way mushy), and proceeded to take a bite. I noticed that it had grown quiet. Too quiet.

Looking up, I saw that everyone was staring at me, and I could hear them mentally vibing me, "EAT IT, EAT IT". So, I shoveled the few pieces in. O....M....G (as my daughters say), the horror.

The whole concoction congealed, and tried to melt in my mouth in a pasty, gelatinous nasty assy- feet tasting goo. My taste buds revolted, I felt bile start to rise. I thought OH HELL NO, I am totally about to vomit all over their table. I felt my stomach heave once and did something I have never ever ever done before: I spit it out in my napkin. There was just no other choice. I could feel my ears burn, (due to the uncontrollable laughter I was hearing from everyone seated near me), and I tried to apologize, but the words were hard to come by as I was trying to ensure that all remnants of said okra nastiness were removed from anywhere near my teeth or tongue.

I have mentioned this story to anyone that has ever talked to me about okra. They all tell me to try it "fried". Again, HELL NO. I am sure that turds taste better fried too, but it is still a turd deep down.