You know you are tired...Part III

Still tired and we have a racoon problem at the house.

They like to eat our garbage, and toss it about the driveway. They try to eat the dog food out on the sun porch in the back, so the dogs have figured out that when they get fed, they better chow down now, and not try to save a snack for later.

Late one night, not so long ago, I thought I saw Rorie, our grey miniature schnauzer out in the backyard. I could have sworn that I let her in earlier, but she is somewhat sneaky and can past me with little notice.

So, I went out in the yard in my jammies and house slippers to call her in. She wasn't really all that far away from me, but in the dark, my vision isn't the greatest.

So, I called her...and called her to COME! COME RORIE!...YOU BETTER GET YOUR (insert really bad words here)OVER HERE.

No matter what vile thing I threatened her with...the little heifer wouldn't come.

It was when she stood up on her hind legs and HISSED at me...that I felt the hairs on the back of my neck prickle up.

A little too slowly, the gears in my mind started spinning....

Maybe this isn't Rorie, I thought to myself.

Maybe it is one of those giant racoon-a-saurus' that likes to bite.

Maybe, I have just spent the better part of 5 minutes, trying to call a dayum racoon into the house.

MAYBE...I need to get back in the house, before it realizes how *dumb* I am and decides to bite me just for being so stupid.

So, I go running back towards the door, (I may or may not have been screaming like a little girl)...

...and WHO should I see standing there?

That's right. My husband...laughing his @ss off. He had been watching the whole thing from the door, wondering if I had truly lost it this time.

The dogs were soundly asleep behind him on the couch, not a care in the world. I don't know what I would have done had the racoon actually obeyed.