Orginally posted February 28, 2007...
Anyone every tried these? I have a friend Sara, that has very successfully lost weight from doing the Atkins diet. And there are several guys that I work with that have also done very well. If you haven't ever done a low carb diet, let me explain how it works.
SUPPOSEDLY...you can eat all the meats, fish, fowl, a fair amount of vegetables, eggs, other high protein foods that do not contain sugar or starch...and you will lose weight. Does it work? YEP, it does. The premise is that when you deprive the body of carbohydrates, it will then turn to burning fat for fuel.
In regards to the vegetables, you don't get to eat any of the good ones...no tomatoes, no corn, carrots, purple hull peas, cucumbers, potatoes, etc. Basically, what you get is over 45 different kinds of lettuce and all the ranch dressing you can pile on it. mmmm.
So, what does it take to master a diet like this? Balls of steel...and an ironclad will strong enough to not slap those around you that dare to eat bread, or God forbid, a brownie in FRONT of you.
The most I have ever made it on the diet...is three weeks, and I lost around 10 lbs. However, I ate one measly slice of white bread at the start of the 4th week...and somehow gained back 13 lbs. It has to be that new math, because I know that bread didn't weigh but a few ounces...but apparently my blood sugar level spiked to such a level that I blindly drove myself to the nearest gas station and bought a 5.5 lb bag of M&M's and scarfed them all down before I hit the driveway coming back home.
I give credit to Sara...and anyone else that manages to stay on the diet, even after a few days without killing someone.
You see, for me...it worked like this:
Day One: I am pumped...I can do this. I don't need sugar...it is the devil (my mantra). I am going to ENJOY the three scrambled eggs for breakfast, the grilled chicken salad for lunch with 25 tablespoons of ranch dressing, and boiled chicken, green beans and boiled eggs for dinner. I can hardly wait.
mmm...eggs.
Day Two: I have a headache, supposedly this is normal. I am still looking forward to my eggs for breakfast, my grilled chicken salad for lunch and whatever variety of chicken and green beans I will have for dinner. My resolve is strong, I can do this.
Day Three: I discovered sugar free candies. It says not to eat but a few as the lactitol "may" upset your stomach. Maybe this will make my headache go away, and for some reason...I cannot add two numbers together. Again, supposedly...this is normal. I come to find out...there is no "may" upset your stomach about it. I ate the whole thing of sugar free reeses peanut butter cups, and have DEARLY paid the price. I am moderately concerned that I may not be able to go to work tomorrow with these gassy issues.
Day Four: Gassy issues are gone (TMI, I know), but I have decided that I really hate eggs. I have always hated eggs. I am still going to eat the eggs...but am now dipping them in salsa. I get another salad for lunch, but go for the one with ham in it...as I am almost about to start hating chicken too. I am undecided what to do for dinner. The kids are complaining that they want some pasta, which is a no-no for me. I make them hot dogs and macaroni and cheese...and stare at them (drooling) through dinner while I eat more chicken.
Day Five: I still have a headache, and I am getting dumber by the second. I drove right past my work ...a route I have taken nearly 365 days a year for 6 years...and forgot to turn in. I remember glancing over and thinking that it looked vaguely familiar. It was when I reached the other side of town...the fog briefly lifted and I remembered that I was supposed to have actually gone to work an hour before. *sigh* I decide that I can have peanuts for breakfast. They are an "approved" food. A total of 9 peanuts...are approved. I count out my peanuts...and can smell that someone has donuts in the office. I may have to hunt them down and "hurt" them. I decide that a plain whopper with cheese, no bun will work for lunch. Again..an "approved food". lol...go figure.
Day Six: My headache hasn't gone away, however, I have lost 7 lbs, so it has all been worth it. I feel vindicated. I can do another day of eggs, chicken and green beans, and maybe a double cheeseburger or two, no bun. Maybe I should buy a book and see if there are recipes that my kids probably won't eat.
Day Seven: My husband makes pancakes for breakfast. I may have to kill him. The entire house reeks of pancakes...and syrup. Sweet Jesus (as my great Aunt Lucy says)...not SYRUP. It's ok I tell myself, I don't need that sugar. I can just eat...eggs. Nasty eggs and nasty bacon. I decide not to kill him...as there may be bugs that need squashing.
Day Eight: It's a conspiracy...everytime I turn on the tv...it's a commercial for candy, Kool-aid, bread, McDonalds, Outback, Krispy Kreams, etc. What happened to the good 'ol tampon commercials? Or the ones about Preparation-H? Where did those go? Since when is EVERY commercial on tv about food? I am considering writing the networks nasty messages.
Day Nine: I realize...that I haven't pooped since Day three. That's a problem, and one that I don't necessarily want solved while I am at work. And again...it must be "donut day", because I can smell them from a football field away. If I just eat ONE, then I will feel better I know it. So, I (guiltily) eat the donut. MAN, I feel GREAT!...I haven't gotten this much work done in YEARS. I feel like a new woman! When I get home...I am going to re-arrange every closet, balance the checkbook, run on the treadmill! However, 30 minutes later...I am nodding off at my desk. I get home later that night...and my husband asks how long this is going to "go on". What do you mean, I ask? (actually I growled at him, and must have looked pretty scary because he backed off, but then went to make himself some popcorn...a "NOT" approved food). grrrrrr. Passive-Agressive much?
Day 10: The smell of popcorn still lingers. Screw this. I haven't lost a pound in three days...probably because I haven't pooped since God knows when. Apparently, I am not getting enough fiber, which I find impossible to believe because I thought LETTUCE was fibrous, and I have eaten bushels of that. I am so hungry that I am starting to look at the dogs in a "stranded on a desert island and I haven't eaten in three weeks sort of way". I finally succumb and drink a cup of coffee...with sugar, REAL sugar, eat some toast for breakfast...and I am reborn. My husband is happy, real Coke is now back in the house, the kids are happy, they can openly eat their Halloween candy, even though it is March and the dogs are relieved that I am not looking at them like they are ho-ho's.
As I said, I have done this diet a few times. My memory must be short...as I forget all of these things each time I start this diet. The truth is...I am a carboholic. I love breads and other sweets and I am much nicer (and saner) person when I get to eat them. I seem to do much better when I limit the overall amount of food I eat and workout.
Everything in moderation, right? riiiiiiiiiiight.
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